Morning everyone. Guess what? It's raining at the Rose Bowl. The turf is turgid, with water oozing up through the grass around the covers. The pitch still needs a cut and a roll. And so even when the rain stops it is going to be 90 minutes or so before play can start. Which makes Mike Selvey's match preview look all the more prescient :
"If previous encounters are to be judged, Rod Bransgrove is more atuned to rock'n'roll than the musical, so he may not be familiar with Barbra Streisand and Funny Girl. But, as they put the finishing touches to the Rose Bowl, the ground into which he has poured heart, soul and money, probably in that order, he would be forgiven for singing quietly to himself the words of Fanny Brice in the famous show stopper: "Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade."
So in the meantime it's you, me and a whole lot of time to kill. Let the thumb twiddling commence.
Shane Warne is on Sky for the first time this summer, looking truly preposterous. Warne insists that he hasn't had a facelift, insisting that "New Est e Lauder moisturisers for my skin have made a big difference." I don't believe a word of it. And not just because Est e Lauder happens to have a long-running association with Warne's new squeeze Liz Hurley. The man looks like Ming the Merciless after a session on a sunbed. His eyebrows arch upwards at a ludicrously unlikely angle and his skin is stretched tight across his skull.
A glimmer of good news: there will be an inspection at 11.15am.
But beyond the brief window of dry weather that we're about to enter the forecast is, as Dave Adams says, not very good: "Not happy with the weather situation, to say the least - looks pretty ominous until Sunday, though 15 miles down the road in Portsmouth the rain has stopped and there's the tiniest hint of sunshine (which has little bearing on the rose bowl, because the weather is moving west to east). I have tickets for Saturday - taking my seven year-old to his first ever cricket match. I really don't want to spend the day explaining to my son that a) I don't control the weather, b) No, we can't go home early, or c) that the alternative to getting wet at the Rose Bowl while not watching cricket was to spend the day shopping with his mum."
They've just pulled the covers off the pitch and it looks as green as a landlubber's gills after a rough night on the ocean.
"There were dire stories about drought not that long ago," grumbles Thomas Whiteley. "And yet we have lost a lot of time to rain during all three matches in different parts of the country, so what happened?" Yes, it is odd isn't it? But much as I love indulging in a little pseudo-science I'm not going to attempt to give you an answer myself. Let's trust that somewhere out there among the OBO readership there is someone who can give us a proper answer.
I do hope we get some play today, because the conditions look absolutely horrendous for batting. The pitch is green, the atmosphere is thick and the ground is wet. Whoever wins the toss surely has to bowl first.
"I'm with Dave Adams," writes Ellie Hibberd. "My husband and I are taking his granddad to the match on Saturday for his first Test match in years. I equally do not want to have to spend the day trying to convince an 85 year old man that it is a good idea to sit there all day shivering in the drizzle waiting for the cricket to start and I'm not sure he's going to be up for the 'let's just drink lots of beer instead' option. Dave will obviously have that problem with his seven year old too." More of a whisky drinker is he?
Incidentally have you ever actually tried properly twiddling your thumbs? It is surprisingly difficult to do. Thread your fingers together in front of you - think of the kind of stance that Tony Blair used to adopt when he was at a lectern - then put your thumbs behind them, side by side. Now move your right thumb in a circle clockwise, and at the same time move your left thumb in a circle anti-clockwise. Let me know how you get on.
"With the recent announcement that we now have the opening pair of A. Strauss, OBE and A. Cook, MBE for England," writes Colyn Alcock, "is the the most honoured opening partnership in the history of the team?" Eitherway, when it comes to syllables they've got nothing on their opposite numbers in the Sri Lankan side: Hettige Don Rumesh Lahiru Thirimanne is going to come in for his Test debut today, alongside Nishad Tharanga Paranavitana.
"Why are you rotating one thumb in the opposite direction to the other, instead of just getting them to follow each other round in the same direction?" asks Tim Bradshaw,"It's this kind of over complication that has cost Arsenal so dear over the last few years." I'll forgive you using a football analogy on the OBO, Tim, but you've entirely missed my point. Twiddling your thumbs is not supposed to be easy, if it was there wouldn't be any point doing it.
On Sky Athers, Nasser and Goldenhair are talking about Strauss' batting technique. To be fair to them, they're not being too hysterical about it. But it is slightly bizarre that the English media always feel compelled to pick on one batsman. Last week it was Pietersen, this week it was Strauss. Is there a single member of the top six who hasn't supposedly been out of form and in danger of losing his place at some point in the last 12 months?
"I can't work out if you're very simple or a genius," says Phil Powell. To which I can only reply, if you've got to ask you'll never know. "Simple because thumb twiddling is actually very easy, or a genius because you've just caused literally tens of people across the world sit in front of their computer and simultaneously thumb twiddle."
An expert writes: "Following Thomas Whiteley's comment about losing time to rain during drought, I thought I'd try and claim a penny for my thoughts. It's quite possible for extreme weather to occur (i.e. periods of rain) during a prolonged dry spell. Also, from a sample size of three, one of which was a match in Wales, it's hard to see these inclement conditions as anything other than a bit of random variation." Iain in Edinburgh is now going back to his Ecological stats PhD.
"Jonathan Trott hasn't been out of form has he?" Yes he has Lori McConnachie. There was some hubbub about his having to play for his place in Bangladesh last Spring, after a poor tour to South Africa. He responded with one of the most intolerably unwatchable innings in the modern history of cricket, 64 in four-and-a-half hours in the second Test at Dhaka.
"I these days find myself idly fiddling with my recently acquired wedding ring," Luke Richardson, that's a dangerous habit to get in to. They feel very uncomfortable at first, don't they? Assuming that you, like me, aren't used to wearing rings. "Today's tally of accidental drops, heart stopping rolls away across the office floor and incidents of it being stuck on the wrong finger is at 6 (only 1 heart stopping roll away). Still, at least I didn't leave it at home today." Just don't make the mistake a friend of mine did. A few days after the wedding his wife asked him how the ring felt and he couldn't quite find the right word so he came out with "claustrophobic" .
Good news from the middle - play will start at 12.15pm and lunch will be taken at 1.30pm. Play can stretch on till 7pm tonight.
Just like Shane Warne's skin, the pitch has suddenly changed colour. The grass has come off the top, but Warne still reckons that whoever wins the toss should bowl first.
Josh Robinson has a point here "Has Pietersen actually been in danger of being dropped?" - no, but only because the press and public don't get to make the selection decisions - "I know he's been out of form for a while, and various idiots have talked about his being dropped. But given that replacing an out-of-form KP with an in-form somebody else would make only a very small difference to the quality of the England side in comparison with the change that an in-form KP could bring about, there's hardly any point in dropping him. And I imagine the selectors are perfectly aware of that."
And now a word in a worthwhile cause from our captain, Mike Selvey: "Hi everyone. My daughter Hannah, who is 14, and four of her schoolfriends are undertaking the 3 Peaks Challenge at the end of June, in aid of SANDS, the charity for stillbirth, and neo-natal death. The task involves climbing the highest peaks in Scotland, England and Wales (ie Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike, and Snowdon) within 24 hours. They are trying to raise 1500, and at the moment are getting on for halfway there. Anything you could do to help them further would be very gratefully received. England will bowl.
Steve Finn drops out of the England team for Jimmy Anderson.
"I would have bowled as well" says Kumar, a wry grin spreading across his face. Thisara Perera comes in for Farveez Maharoof, and as we all suspected Hettige Don Rumesh Lahiru Thirimanne will make his debut at the top of the order as a replacement for Dilshan.
A wonderfully pointless stat from James Boon: " says Leo Allen. "It made me wonder if a gentleman's sport like cricket had ever lead to riots being caused?" Actually there have almost been too many to relate - the semi-final of the 1996 world cup between India and Sri Lanka was abandoned and forfeited when fans invaded the pitch. But the West Indies is the real home of the cricket riot, with a tradition that runs right back to the 1950s. The last one was in 1999, I think, when the West Indies were playing Australia in a ODI in Bridgetown. Shiv Chanderpaul was run out after colliding with Brendon Julian, fans started throwing bottles and then invaded the pitch.
"Never mind looking for a local league club to play for," writes Ian Burch. "Why doesn't Robert Wickes aim for the stars and send his CV to Worcestershire C? They'll no doubt give it a cursory glance and put him in their next 20/20 team."
And an update from the Rose Bowl from Mike Selvey: "Mopping up again here, but there are still showers about. It is pot luck whether one of those hits or slides down the legside. Rather like England's bowling at Lord's."
This match in Kingston is almost as dull as watching the rain drop. I'm switching back over.
There will be an inspection at 5.30pn, so we may get a little more play yet.
Play will start at 6pm and we can go on till 7.30pm. Which will be popular news in the press box, where the assorted hacks always enjoy a late finish that eats into their evenings.
"Miss Selvey's page has topped the aspired-to total!" points out Tom Oxley. And indeed it has, though I notice they've since moved the goalposts. "Nice work. I can only think it's a sedentary desk-based guilt and not generosity which has encouraged such a flood of donations. I am enjoying visualising moths flying out of wallets across desks in the UK." That, and the tantalising promise that one lucky person is going to get a copy of. reaches into bin of books by the side of the cricket desk and grabs the first thing that comes to hand. a copy of Andrew Strauss's Winning The Ashes Down Under: The Captain's Story. Not just any copy either, but one that has actually been touched by my own sweaty fingers.
Sarcasm aside it has been a truly wonderful response by everyone who has donated and, not for the first time, I'm extremely proud to be a part of the OBO community. Thank you all.
OK, I need to stop being sincere before the my icy veneer cracks and you all realise what a softy I am. I've just got time to wipe the tears from my eye before play starts again.
19th over: Sri Lanka 33-3 (Jayawardene 3, Samaraweera 4) Anderson opens the attack, and his first two ball swing wide past Samaraweera's off-stump, but his sixth is swatted to fine leg for four. And here is the young Miss Selvey, she seems considerably less gruff and grumbly than her father, I have to say. Maybe she'll be a little less chipper once she's been up and down all those mountains: "Hi everyone at OBO, Just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has donated to our 3 Peaks Challenge. It's so nice of you all and you made us all very happy! It really is for such a great cause and I know that the charity will use the money well and it will help a lot of people. From Hannah Selvey, Robyn Armstrong, Harriet Lusty, Lydia Watt and Amber Stewart."
20th over: Sri Lanka 33-3 (Jayawardene 3, Samaraweera 4) Strauss has six slips, a gully and a short leg. For once Sir Iron Bottom has nothing to say about his field placings. No doubt he'll find something to moan about soon enough. Oh yes, there he goes. Tremlett is bowling too full, so he says, "it may look pretty, but it's not going to get anyone out." The next ball spits up at the bat handle, and Jayawardene whips away his hand in alarm. It's a maiden.
21st over: Sri Lanka 33-3 (Jayawardene 3, Samaraweera 4) Now it is Samaraweera's turn to wear one on the gloves and wince in pain. The Rose Bowl looks a pretty picture now the sun is out. It really is a lovely ground, a kind of natural amphitheatre, carved out of the hilly countryside.
22nd over: Sri Lanka 37-3 (Jayawardene 3, Samaraweera 6) Samaraweera knocks a single away square, and Tremlett then hammers a ball into Jayawardene's arm guard. An awkward ball to deal with, that one. And that's a jaffa. "Beauty," mutters Athers as though he was seeing Ursula Andress step out of the sea. "Absolutely beauty." And so it was.
23rd over: Sri Lanka 39-3 (Jayawardene 4, Samaraweera 7) If England's bowlers get their lines and length right, the wickets are going to fall in a hurry here. The ball is swinging and spitting off the surface. I can't say whether or not it is intentional, but if it is the staff at the Rose Bowl deserve real credit for preparing a pitch for the first Test at the ground that offers the bowlers something to work with. "Are you sure there's room for six slips and only one gully?" asks Matthew Bell. And to be honest I'm not, because the camera never lingers on the slip cordon. "Doesn't sixth slip end up feeling awfully gully-ish? Admittedly field positions have never been my strong point. But could it be four slips, two fine gullies, and a backward backward point? How will foreigners ever get interested in cricket until we rationalize such things. Maybe the ICC can get busy coming up with a decimal system for cricket terminology. Keep them out of trouble, anyway." At the moment Strauss seems to be back to a more regulation three slips and two gullies.
WICKET! Jayawardene 3 c Prior b Tremlett (Sri Lanka 39-4)There's another one. Jayawardene stays on the back foot and prods at a shortish ball that was moving away from him just a touch, and he succeeds only in edging a catch through behind. What a dismal series he and Sangakkara have had. Prasanna Jayawardene is the new batsman, and Sri Lanka are now well up the creek and in desperate need of a paddle.
25th over: Sri Lanka 39-4 (Samaraweera 7, P Jayawardene 0) We've had word from the Sky box that Athers is more of a Halle Berry man. Make of that what you will. Stuart Broad is in to the attack now. It'll be interesting to see how he bowls in these conditions. We've all seen him pitch it up on off-stump and stay there in the past, but it feels like it has been a while since he bowled that way. He's getting a little swing, but he's also bowling a little too wide to make Samaraweera play.
26th over: Sri Lanka 44-4 (Samaraweera 7, P Jayawardene 0) A horrible ball from Tremlett, disappearing down the leg side. Prior comes across to take it well. The next delivery is a little straighter, but is still sliding down that way. It runs away for four leg byes. But his next delivery is a snorter past the outside edge. When he is bowling like this, I really cannot think of any bowlers in the world who would be more awkward to face. England haven't had a bowler like him since Steve Harmison was in his pomp back in 2004.
27th over: Sri Lanka 50-4 (Samaraweera 11, P Jayawardene 0) Broad's first ball swings one way then back the other after beating the bat. It bamboozles Matt Prior, almost shaving off his eyebrows as it flies by for two byes. Sri Lanka are having a really tough time of it here, and no word of a lie. The next ball bounces up into Samaraweera's ribcage and deflects down to short leg, where Ian Bell takes a catch. England appeal, but there was no bat on it. And it's followed by what is only the second attacking shot of the day, a crisp cover drive off the back foot that has Warne purring "super shot".
28th over: Sri Lanka 54-4 (Samaraweera 11, P Jayawardene 4) Jayawardene drops a delivery just shy of Ian Bell at short leg. And then he decides that he's not going to die wondering, and reaches out to clip a drive over the head of gully for a four. A risky shot that, not dissimilar to the one that did for Sangakkara.
29th over: Sri Lanka 57-4 (Samaraweera 14, P Jayawardene 4) A good ball from Broad, up on off-stump. Samaraweera pats it away uneasily. He slices a bottom edge past the slips later in the over, and sneaks three runs.
30th over: Sri Lanka 62-4 (Samaraweera 18, P Jayawardene 4) Tremlett has figures of 10-5-12-2 so far. The Sri Lankans have managed to score from six of his 60 deliveries. Make that seven, as Samaraweera edges a ball past third slip for four.
31st over: Sri Lanka 66-4 (Samaraweera 19, P Jayawardene 4) Jimmy Anderson is back in to the attack now, and my mind is starting to drift towards the close and what the night will bring. Jayawardene threads a drive through the covers for a couple of runs, then takes four leg byes down to fine leg.
32nd over: Sri Lanka 67-4 (Samaraweera 19, P Jayawardene 6) And Broad has switched ends to replace Tremlett. His first ball is a brute, rearing up at Samaraweera's throat. The next ball is full and straight and slides on pasty the bat. "A little tip for the Cumbrians trying to decide whether to support Yorkshire or Lancashire," thunders Pat Connelly. "Surely it's fairly straight forward - CHOOSE THE ONE THAT'S ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE PENNINES AS YOU ARE. It's barely excusable that people from Yorkshire decide to support them never mind them ones from the right side of th'ills."
33rd over: Sri Lanka 75-4 (Samaraweera 23, P Jayawardene 6) Samaraweera leans out wide of his off-stump and clatters a drive for four through extra cover. A good shot, but a bold one. Strauss tinkers with his field in response, moving a slip into the covers and dropping back short leg. Samaraweera is just settling in now. Four more leg byes end the over.
34th over: Sri Lanka 75-4 (Samaraweera 23, P Jayawardene 6) "I can think of someone even more awkward than Tremlett" says Sandile Xaso from Johannesburg, and the location may give you a clue as to the answer. "Morne Morkel. He has more pace and extra bounce. Greater control too." More pace, yes, but more bounce and control? I'm not so sure about that. Tremlett has a couple of inches on Morne. Still, it's not a bad call though Sandile.
35th over: Sri Lanka 75-4 (Samaraweera 23, P Jayawardene 6) "On TMS Boycott and Aggers are currently criticising England for bowling poorly," says Ross Moulden. "Saying that they should have got more wickets so far today. I haven't been able to watch much, but from what I saw I got the impression that England had bowled reasonably well, but the Sri Lankans had dug in and were playing it all quite well. Are they being a bit harsh on the bowlers? You can't expect them to bowl them out for 60-odd every time." Agnew? Boycott? Moaning? Surely not. Yes, I'd say they are being harsh. England could have bowled a little fuller and a little straighter, to be sure, but they've hardly been bad. And if it was that easy to do, Agnew would have taken a few more wickets for England.
36th over: Sri Lanka 76-4 (Samaraweera 23, P Jayawardene 6) There are three overs left today. You have to say that Stuart Broad is, once again, conspicuously wicketless. He's been a little unlucky - and he is again here, beating the outside edge for no reward - but still, my mind can't help but turn to Steve Finn. On this pitch I feel sure he would have had a wicket or two by now. We'll never know. "Come now," says Avery Kode - we're on a phenomenal run with names on the OBO at the moment, apart from you, Moulden - "Morkel's a lump of wood, he can only bang it in straight, short of a length (admittedly making the odd batsman fear for his life). At least Tremlett has the ability to show a bit of finesse (swing, not pitching every delivery back of a length)."
37th over: Sri Lanka 76-4 (Samaraweera 23, P Jayawardene 6) A boomerang of an inswinger from Anderson, which Samaraweera punches to extra cover. He finishes his spell with another gem of a ball, beating the outside edge.
38th over: Sri Lanka 81-4 (Samaraweera 24, P Jayawardene 10) The final over of a long day then. "Late night testing in the Human Performance Lab," says Colin Coyle. "One eye on the ObO, the other on the lad on the bike. Can you summarise the days play for me please?" Sure, because it's not like I haven't put enough effort into churning out these thousands of words of delicately crafted prose already is it? I mean, really. Anyway: rain, good toss to win, loose shots, wicket, rain, more loose shots, wicket, rain, wicket, wicket, gritty stand to finish. And that, ladies and gents, is that.
Right, I'll see you all back here bright and early tomorrow. For now, good night.
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