The schoolyard game of pencil arguing has gone pro.
That s right, kids. All those years of covertly cracking your current close friend s pencil for the again regarding your classroom weren't spent goofing off. They were put in training. Training pertaining to America azines Fastest-Growing Deathsport , your .
The WXPFL takes the when we are children online game regarding busting one more person vertisements pencil, karate-chop style, by using the ones you have for you to 11. Then the idea contributes some distortion. And a wah pedal. This nuts mashup associated with professional player wrestling plus the child years brinksmanship may be the genius of The Professor Jake Stratton .
A pencil was merely a pencil for the favorable professor right until some years ago whenever a friend, learning exactly how ridiculous that teacher is usually he s also designed , where nearby companies chuck straight down from a Family Feud-style quiz requested him just what exactly they might do having a favored childhood pastime. How regarding some sort of NSFW pro wrestling league associated with gra-fighters hell-bent on breaking lead for the amusement associated with PBR-chugging fans?
Pencil fighting merged all that will I like, Stratton said. Pro wrestling, MMA, the particular blood sports activities on the world.
It s perfect. Especially regarding Seattle, in which times are stored within the third Thursday involving month after month in a synovial called Re-Bar .
I might like to do this kind of many of the season long, your dog said.
The Professor is usually adamant with stating that, regardless of that blood feuds along with convoluted storylines, bouts are certainly not taking place at all. It vertisements 100 percentage legit. We might t vouch to get that, but we are able to inform you it verts a hundred p'cent weird .
There are generally rules, plus penalties. Everyone battles which includes a item drawn at randomly originating from a brand-new pack of Ticonderoga No. 2s. The striker effort to be able to break up your defensive player azines pencil simply by whacking this having his, or maybe her, unsharpened pencil. They re unsharpened as the Professor doesn t have insurance policy to repay pointed pencils.
Competitors deal emits right up until a person s pencil snaps. Refs can telephone fines regarding going down a pencil, tilting a new pencil, stalling for time, and, well , although you obtain idea. The martial artist that vertisements already been fouled are able to whack his / her competition vertisements pencil having some sort of pencil associated with any size, provided that that azines created from wood and also criminal record search compose with it. Comically oversized pencils is also the norm, wielded using .
Harry Bawles (groan) keeps this championship belt. Characters (with titles like Thaddeus P. Skrilla in addition to Ronald McFondle) are and so hugely politically wrong and outlandishly costumed regarding make professional player wrestling appear understated. If expert fumbling is usually Jerry Seinfeld, severe pencil preventing is Larry David. It utes covering the top, unusual and wonderful.
And everyone thinks about they could perform it.
At one recent bout, some sucker bragged he / she has been the pencil combating champ involving his middle school. I m even now badass, he / she promised. The Professor permits zero difficult task choose unanswered along with produced the person way up on stage to handle The Hooded Cobra. It wasn t even close. One controll on the pencil and also the guy folded like origami.
Everybody I carry them as much as remembers using pencil arguing while child within school, no matter whether we were holding beneficial or not, this Professor said.